A Family That Reads Together…
January 15, 2023
A Family that Reads Together
It was my first year teaching. I was a K-5 general music teacher and I loved every minute of it. One of the most memorable benefits of the job was getting to know families; I received numerous dinner invitations and I accepted every single one. The opportunity to see firsthand how a “normal” family operated had previously eluded me, and now was my chance to investigate.
I quickly learned that “normal” doesn’t exist, but I also witnessed one incredible behavior in many of the more cohesive families: the parents read to their children. One particular father, Dr. Weston, would excuse himself from the table, full of empty wasabi and soy sauce bowls-before sushi was trendy in the US-and I would hear his mumbled voice through the walls of his second-floor apartment. “Is that Tolkien?” I asked Genevieve, his wife. “Yes, he’s making his way through ‘The Lord of the Rings’ with the kids.” I was floored. And jealous. And sad. And in that moment, I decided my future family would be a reading family.
Parents who want their kids to read do one important thing: read to them.
When my first son was in utero, I read to him at every opportunity. We read “The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass” (the story of our family namesake), “Falling Up” by the brilliant Shel Silverstein, and other titles I cannot remember. Neither does my son. But he heard my voice, filled with love and anticipation of his birth, telling him a story. (He is 13 today and still loves a good story.) I began to set a pattern with my amazingly understanding wife, who would lie on the bed and just listen as I spent time with our baby. Did it feel weird? Yep. Initially.
Force yourself to do something counterintuitive until it becomes intuitive.
Today, bedtime is far from “normal” for our family. My youngest son’s skin condition complicates our bedtime routine, so this is not a good time for us to sit together and read, though we have tried. We have read the “Little House” books, the “Encyclopedia Brown” books, and the wonderful “Hatchet” by the recently deceased Gary Paulson. But with the pressures of our work, Beau’s skin, and just being plain tired, bedtime isn’t an ideal time for us.
“Doctors’ orders: If you want better sleep, turn off your screens an hour before bed.
Just before bed, we all sit together in our living room as I read a chapter from a book we have selected together. (Currently it’s Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. We recently finished Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. Both are winning selections for our entire family.) Is it idyllic? Absolutely not. The boys, frustrated from having their iPads and Nintendo Switches forcibly powered down, often bicker. My wife and I often look at each other in the midst of our untidy house, a sink full of dishes, and dozens of unanswered emails in our inboxes, and still, we decide to do the thing: we read together. It looks a lot different from Dr. Weston, reading Tolkien to his kids as they drift off to sleep. But it works for our family. It offers the opportunity to discuss life issues we encounter in our reading. To notice the techniques the author uses to tell the story. (Both of my boys are storytellers.) To laugh together. To learn to love each other more.
Try this with your family. Your kids will roll their eyes. Your partner might not be as understanding as mine, but I promise: persevere, and in time it will become everyone’s favorite part of the day. It certainly is ours.
